Dr. Jennifer Chain on Navigating Interpersonal Dynamics's and Therapy for Helpers, Givers, and Fixers
Photos by Susan Fried
In this segment of The Day With Trae, host Trae Holiday connects with Licensed Psychologist Dr. Jennifer Chain, President and Owner at Thrive for the People, PLLC. Dr. Chain discusses her work and her journey into psychology, tracing it back to her childhood experiences and cultural heritage as the firstborn daughter of Chinese immigrants. Growing up while navigating the complexities of adapting to a new country and language, she often had to assume the role of caregiver for her younger sibling, a fundamental concept she focuses on in her practice.
"All of that, the immigration experience, coming into the United States, learning a different language, all of that got me curious about why people are so resilient. Why people are so able to overcome these incredible challenges in their lives," Chain said. "That made me start to ask [the] question of what is resilience? What are some of the factors that contribute to that? That got me interested in psychology, and then the path continued from there."
Chain describes her role as a psychologist as a guide, facilitating deep introspection and healing within her clients. Drawing parallels to ancient traditions, she reflects on how her profession may have been likened to a shaman, healer, or witch in past eras.
"I feel like science is just catching up to the traditions and indigenous knowledge you already have. It's just starting to prove that was right all along," Chain said. "In my work and the work of many therapists, it is about remembering that we do have this innate knowledge and this knowledge from our ancestors."
Furthermore, Dr. Chain expresses her enthusiasm for the emergence of a new wave of medicine and therapy that reflects on the knowledge of traditional and indigenous healing practices she previously mentioned.
"I know that there's a lot of new medicine that's coming forward in terms of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications, but now I'm really excited about the new wave of medicine that's about psychedelics," Chain said. "That is [the] traditional use of ayahuasca and mushrooms, and that field has always been with us. We're seeing what we've known [and] what a lot of indigenous practices have already known for a long time. That is healing."
In her practice, Chain specializes in therapy tailored to individuals who often find themselves as personal and professional helpers, givers, and fixers, a dynamic that resonates deeply with her upbringing. Drawing from the insights of San Francisco psychiatrist Stephen B. Karpman, she incorporates the Karpman drama triangle into her approach. This social model, originating in the 1960s, illuminates three interconnected roles contributing to interpersonal conflict and drama.
"The problem with these three roles is that it locks folks into a very disempowered place," Chain said.
Within the model, there is the "rescuer," also known as the hero. These individuals frequently seek Chain for assistance.
"They feel very compelled to do something about what they see as a need and what they see as the disadvantaged. But the problem with the hero or the rescuer is that they neglect themselves," Chain said. "They oftentimes don't focus on their own need because they're so busy trying to rescue somebody else."
They rescue the "victim" within the model, those receiving anger or aggression.
"The trick to their role is they are not able to do something about their lives," Chain said. "They feel disempowered."
Lastly, there is the "persecutor," individuals who play the distinct role of the villain within the group dynamic.
"They're generally more complaining about what's wrong with the world," Chain said. "They tend to be very aggressive toward other people [and] want to put others down because there's a lot of anger and rage within themselves."
Chain emphasizes that while everyone may embody these roles at different times, individuals who frequently adopt the rescuer role struggle to find success or balance.
"The more you rescue, the more you rescue. It's a never-ending dynamic. I like to think about it as there are those who are over-takers, and then there are those who are over-givers, and we can't expect, unfortunately, the over-takers to stop overtaking," Chain said. "Because the situation is working well for them. They also tend to not have a lot of insight and not come to therapy."
Chain emphasizes that acknowledging participation in this cycle is pivotal to breaking free from it, which especially applies to those rescuing.
"It is really up to them sometimes to learn how to set those boundaries, to learn how to value themselves, to learn how to only serve from a place of overflow and not from a place of martyrdom," Chain said. "Those are some of things that I really help my clients see and then also help them step into that empowerment."
She emphasizes that true empowerment can often be misconstrued as assertiveness or aggressiveness, which can inadvertently perpetuate the cycle of the rescuer assuming the role of the persecutor.
"True empowerment is taking accountability for our lives, knowing that we have choices at any point [and] that there are lots of decisions that we get to make about our lives and how we live it," Chain said. "That's empowerment."
Click here to learn more about Dr. Jennifer Chain’s work and her practice Thrive for the People, PLLC.
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